• Nationwide
  • Toronto
  • Vancouver
  • Calgary
  • Montreal
  • Los Angeles
  • Chicago
  • NYC
Eligible Magazine
  • Dating
    • Editor’s Dating Notes
    • Better Dating Ideas
    • “The Bachelor” Advice
    • Guy Talk
    • Girl Talk
  • Relationships
  • Sex
  • Events
    • Event Galleries
  • Fashion
    • Men’s Style
    • Women’s Style
  • Lifestyle
    • Gossip
    • Wine & Dine
    • Luxurious Living
    • Entertainment
    • Destinations
  • Wellness
    • Men’s Fitness
    • Women’s Fitness
    • Get Inspired
    • Doctor’s Orders
    • A Better YOU
    • Beauty
  • Bachelor & Bachelorette
  • Cities
    • Nationwide
    • Toronto
    • Vancouver
    • Calgary
    • Montreal
    • Los Angeles
    • Chicago
    • NYC
Girl Talk 1

The Call For More Kindness In Relationships

By Christine Hart · On April 4, 2013

This week I have been inspired by a few stories I’ve read about Random Acts of Kindness and even though the stories weren’t directly speaking of romantic relationships, it had me revisit how much simple kindness is a recipe for success in romantic relationships.

One was a photo of a friend receiving a surprise to-go cup of tea on her front porch because she was feeling under the weather. Her close friend dropped it off.

The other was a story out of Naples, Italy about “suspended coffees”. I think it’s a beautiful movement.

“We enter a little coffeehouse with a friend of mine and give our order. While we’re approaching our table two people come in and they go to the counter:
‘Five coffees, please. Two of them for us and three suspended’ They pay for their order, take the two and leave.

I ask my friend: “What are those ‘suspended’ coffees?”
My friend: “Wait for it and you will see.”
…
Some more people enter. Two girls ask for one coffee each, pay and go. The next order was for seven coffees and it was made by three lawyers – three for them and four ‘suspended’. While I still wonder what’s the deal with those ‘suspended’ coffees I enjoy the sunny weather and the beautiful view towards the square in front of the café. Suddenly a man dressed in shabby clothes who looks like a beggar comes in through the door and kindly asks
‘Do you have a suspended coffee ?’

It’s simple – people pay in advance for a coffee meant for someone who cannot afford a warm beverage. The tradition with the suspended coffees started in Naples, but it has spread all over the world and in some places you can order not only a suspended coffee, but also a sandwich or a whole meal.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have such cafés or even grocery stores in every town where the less fortunate will find hope and support ? If you own a business why don’t you offer it to your clients… I am sure many of them will like it.”
http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2013/03/25/italian-tradition-of-suspended-coffee-takes-hold-elsewhere-in-tough-economic-times/

Kindness in romantic relationships can be something we ironically overlook , especially when we are in ‘take mode’.  When we are upset or stressed, kindness is one of the last things we want to express. Why? Well some people believe expressing kindness can be mistaken for weakness. That’s why I say it’s ironic because somewhere along the lines of communication, the wires have been crossed and we believe we can get kindness without giving kindness.  That if we withhold kindness and consideration, somehow our partner will treat us with more kindness.

Since this doesn’t make sense, my advice is to ‘grease the kindness wheel’ in your relationship. Get it moving in more of a flow. First talk about the reasons you may be upset or stressed out and then each of you commit to showing more acts of kindness as a healthy maintenance on your relationship: Do a favor, send a loving text, drop off a surprise tea and see how things can change – even if it’s just a little bit.

Kindness is powerful. If it can make such a difference in a man who can’t afford a coffee, imagine the feel-good connection it can create between you and your partner?

Live Love,

Christine

Share Tweet

Christine Hart

As a Gender Communication Specialist & Relationship Coach for almost a decade, Christine is the founder of Your Date Coach Inc. She is an industry leader in navigating the world of effective male/female communication. Her guidance and techniques have led to more than 65 lasting marriages. She is the author of 'The Art of Living a Flirtatious Life', - a book dedicated to helping women connect with the power of their femininity. Christine holds a BA in Communication Studies and is a graduate of the PAX Mastery Program in California. PAX is dedicated to transforming the way men and women relate to each other. yourdatecoach.com

You Might Also Like

  • Girl Talk

    “We’ve Had Four Dates And I Don’t Feel Connected”

  • Eligible TV

    Eligible Magazine presents The Dating Game

  • average-guy Guy Talk

    Why “Average” People Are NOT Sexually Attractive

More from this author

  • Girl Talk

    No, You Are NOT A Loser For Being Single On NYE.

  • Girl Talk

    How You Feel Around Him Is More Important Than Shared Interests

  • Girl Talk

    Are You A “One Upper”?

1 Comment

  • Maurizio Mucciarone says: April 8, 2013 at 5:18 pm

    Very good article Christine Hart. I think this is an awesome idea. Love your work keep them coming.

    Reply
  • Leave a reply Cancel reply

    Search

    Subscribe & Follow

    Follow @EligibleZine
    Follow on Instagram
    Eligible Magazine Pheed
    Follow eligiblezine

    Find us on Facebook

    Eligible TV

    Twitter: eligiblezine

    • Are you divorced and ready to mingle? https://t.co/UeligwrhRj 12:08:16 PM January 17, 2019 from Twitter for iPhone
    • Get discounted tickets to Toronto's Elite Divorce Party when you use the promo code EligibleMagazine:… https://t.co/VRY7z8tDPp 10:03:42 AM January 17, 2019 from Twitter Web Client
    • Eligible Magazine readers can receive 20% off tickets to Toronto's Elite Divorce party, happening this Friday at Th… https://t.co/KTEmk27Mcu 10:21:27 PM January 16, 2019 from Twitter Web Client

    Eligible Poll

    Eligible Magazine now available on iPad, iPhone and smartphone

    • Contributors

    About

    Eligible Magazine is a lifestyle magazine for urban men and women who want the best from their dating life, their relationships and themselves. It features articles and video content on dating, relationships, sex, wellness and lifestyle by some of the country's foremost experts. The magazine is available online, for sale on Apple's Newsstand for your iPad or iPhone and soon to be in print.

    Recent Posts

    • stress

      5 Effective Ways to Combat Stress

    • Montreal

      Better Dating Ideas Montreal: February 15 – 17

    • Family Day

      Better Dating Ideas Toronto: Family Day Weekend

    • Valentine's Day

      The Best Last-Minute Valentine’s Day Gifts

    Contact

    Contact Eligible Magazine
    Work for Eligible Magazine
    Advertise with Eligible Magazine
    Write for Eligible Magazine
    Unsubscribe
    Privacy Policy

    Search

    © 2013 Eligible Magazine. All rights reserved.
    • Sitemap
    • Help
    • Contact Us
    • Terms of Use
    • Copyright
    • Privacy & Cookie Policy
    • Advertising
    • Announcements
    Eligible Magazine
    Eligible Magazine on Apple App Store