With the massive growth over the last decade in online dating websites and applications to expand our opportunities to meet people, it seems as though technology is dramatically helping our love lives – and I cannot disagree on that at all. Technological capabilities have helped millions of people meet one another where they would have never met before, or would have been too shy to approach one another on a face-to-face basis; Platforms have been created to set us up for success in finding what majority of us desire: love. As a dating coach I say, “Go for it! Use the ones that best suit you to your advantage!” However, it’s one thing to use technology to your advantage, and it’s another thing to abuse it. Now I’m not just talking about Internet sites and applications, I’m talking about technology as a whole. The good news is that technology is bringing a lot of people together, but the bad news is: in many ways the over-use of it can actually interfere with our dating lives and romantic relationships.
Can something as miniscule as a cell phone, or an iPad cause issues in ones love life? Absolutely! Yet, it isn’t so much the actual device itself that causes the issues, more so how that person is utilizing their device and the things the device or platform is capable of doing.
4 Things to Be Aware of in Order to Better your Dating Life When it comes to Technology:
1) Social media apps allow the ability to see what people are constantly up to and who they are communicating with or “following”; That is grounds for any argument in a relationship given one person does not like what they see, or if the other feels they are being “monitored”. Also some people will get offended if you don’t ‘like’ their posts, especially if they see you liking others’ posts.
2) Many men flat out ignore the fact that chivalry once existed, as technology just became their excuse overtime. We were once approached in a physical setting, we are now ‘poked’ or looked up by where we ‘Checked In’. Where our car doors were opened for us on dates, now the double-clicking of a car remote for us to let ourselves in seems sufficient enough. Bring back the good ole’ days!
3) People rarely pick up the phone to say Happy Birthday anymore, instead the new ‘HBD’ on your Facebook wall seems like a good idea (it ISN’T, especially to someone you like!) Also people use text messaging more than they do phone calls nowadays, which is less personal.
4) Our devices have made it hard for us to be present in a moment. Many of you are guilty of how glued your eyes are to your phone ‘liking’ Instagram photos when you are supposed to be focusing on a conversation with the person in front of you, sometimes even in a date setting! Or, are too busy watching TV in the bedroom when your spouse is trying to create an intimate setting. Not cool.
Use technology and the Internet as something that can enhance your romantic relationships not hinder them! An example of this would be Skype-video messaging to stay in touch with your partner while traveling, or surprising your crush with something you’ve paid attention to them expressing a want for on their blog. We’ve lost sight of the stuff that really matters: physical connections, deep conversations where you hear that person’s voice, the male-female chase, romance, laughter… if this is something you are struggling with, contact me for a free consultation and I will certainly help you regain focus and bring the intimacy back to your dating life or relationship!