These days dating around to find the ‘one’ or a ‘suitable’ partner is quite the norm compared to a mere 10 years ago. Stories of failed dates and the effect of another’s behavior come up repeatedly in sessions with patients, sometimes with tears & sometime as a stand-up comedy show.
Some of these tips on how to treat a woman properly may seem like common sense, but from stories I have heard, this is not always the case. Men always want to know how to get that ‘in’. I hope these tips shed some light on ‘dating’ which is always a ‘hot’ topic:
- Make sure she gets home safely after any date if you are not driving her home. Get her a cab. Check in via text to make sure she reached home safely or have her text you. This one is a deal breaker for many women if not attended to.
- Suggest you two get together at the end of the first date or within a few days. Don’t just disappear if the date went really well and you actually do want to see if it can go somewhere.
- Pay attention to her. Learn the little things that only come through subtext. Make her feel comfortable. Don’t multi-task while she is talking. Stay off your phone. Go the extra mile. Don’t over power the date, most women will be kind and let you talk but it shows a sign of disinterest.
- Avoid clichés: When a woman is bringing up her feelings and wants to talk, you immediately think she wants a relationship with you and is being clingy. RETHINK this now. Not every woman immediately wants a relationship, just like not every man is a player. Clichés kill intimacy and any chance of something organic to grow.
- Words mean nothing. Only actions matter. If you value her then put something of value out there yourself.
- Be careful of joking too much and being too crude. This goes for criticism. The wrong kind of joking is seen as insecurity, especially if it’s every other sentence.
- Don’t wait to return texts and calls especially if she reached out first. It’s vulnerable. Don’t even create the possibility for her to wonder about your behavior, unless that’s what you want. Don’t play games.
- Getting Physical: Listen up. Check in with yourself twice before making a move too quickly. See if there is a signal from a woman to move in for that ‘kiss’ so you are not pushing yourself on her. This situation gone wrong is probably the #1 issue I have heard from women!