All relationships have their problems, but some have even bigger problems to the point where they feel like they need to start over. There are many times when a couple has to face a few challenges with each other, but also don’t think that it’s right to put an end to the relationship. This is what I call a ‘fresh start’. Fresh starts can happen in a relationship after the couple feels as if they’ve been betrayed, disappointed, or even just not getting enough time together. Almost nothing is irreparable, and if the two of you really love each other then there is going to be a way to start over, it just takes commitment and lots of work. If you feel like you’ve had some ups and downs with your partner and think you need to ‘restart’ the relationship, then keep reading!
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How Do You Feel About the Relationship?
The first phase is how to identify whether or not you still want to be in this relationship. If you know you’re still in love that’s a good thing, but that doesn’t mean that you need to stay. Think about what you love about your relationship; will you still love the same things if you continue? When we are hurt we mostly think about the bad things that have occurred in the relationship, but try to keep a positive outlook because most of the time there is more good than bad.
Think About What Needs to be Changed
This step is where you both need to understand what went wrong, and who created the problem. Both of you can be at fault here, and usually, that is the case. One partner may have created a bigger problem, but maybe the other contributed into making it worse. Couples that can honestly point out their own faults have the power to recover and make changes. Try to come up with new patterns and rules in the relationships because it’s hard to start over when you are in the same old patterns. Both of you should be willing to forget past mistakes and change for the future.
Forgive and Make Promises
Forgiveness is key in starting over a relationship. No, this doesn’t necessarily mean that you need to forgive your partner completely, but just enough so that they know how bad the problem they created was. It’s okay to have fear in thinking your partner will believe that your forgiveness means that what they did was ok, so just make sure to run this by to confirm that you both have a clear understanding. Reassess your own limits as well, make sure that if you’ve created a problem you now know that what you did was wrong. Make promises to each other, and to yourself. It’s probably both of you that are hurting after all.
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Decide What’s Best
Starting over doesn’t mean that you’re letting go of your past completely, just paving the way for the future of a healthy relationship. This means that you are making a clear choice to put the past to rest and learn to trust each other again. A fresh start can possibly be the beginning of a great new chapter of your lives, or maybe the opposite. Either way, it is a good idea to take a risk and get a second chance with each other.
Will your relationship be the same as it was before? Probably not, but couples who allow themselves to love each other again can overcome more challenges than before. There will be more trust after you’ve laid out every negative detail, leading you to find ways to value your relationship more than you did before.
“They say love is the best investment; the more you give, the more you get in return.” – Audrey Hepburn