The world has changed so much in the last 30 years. Our modern culture is one based on sex, money, and power. People have changed, expectations have changed, and as you know, relationships have definitely changed. Almost 75% of Canadian divorces are being initiated by women, and you’ve probably heard that the Canadian divorce rate is now at almost 50%. Can you blame commitment phobes, women rejecting proposals, or those with emotional walls up?
My loving parents have a hard time understanding the complicated modern dating scene. After all, my dad flew over 10,000 km’s with the intention to meet and marry my mom. Forget dating, engagement, and living together before marriage. My dad showed up in a foreign country to meet and propose to a woman that he had only seen in one photograph. He shamelessly packed a white wedding dress in his suitcase and somehow knew that he was going to bring home to Canada his dream girl. They were married within one week and are still happily married. So, try explaining to them our methods of searching for the perfect life partner. The Bachelor on TV, online dating, and speed dating are just a few examples of modern dating techniques that my poor parents don’t comprehend.
Since I was a young child, my parents reminded me that, “when it comes to love, you just go for it, because great love involves great risk.” They taught me that in order to find true love, you have to be open and willing to take real risks.
So there are two things that I’m proposing this Thanksgiving season. Single folks and to all of you in a relationship, listen up! Tis The Season To Get Naked & Give Gratitude!
NUMBER ONE – GET NAKED!
And I’m not referring to taking your clothes off. Getting emotionally naked in your search for love and a lifelong partner is important. These days, many people rush to get ‘jiggy with it’ under the sheets, but overlook the importance of emotional vulnerability and deep connection before physical intimacy. Men are always complaining that women are jaded or closed off, and women often grumble about commitment phobic men. I’m sure disappointed love is what has led both men and women to put their walls up. Here’s the thing – on your search for long lasting love and companionship, there is a fine line between being cautious and being closed off. Nobody is going to get close to you if you are giving off protective ‘back away’ vibes. Isn’t love about taking chances? Now I’m not suggesting you fly 10,000 km’s for your dream man or dream girl, but I am reminding you to be mindful of the energy that you are exuding in the dating world or even in your current relationship. Are you naked, vulnerable, and open to being loved? Are you truly prepared to take a risk with another person?
NUMBER TWO – GIVE GRATITUDE!
In relationships, I hope you are regularly giving gratitude for what your partner does right. A new motto to consider – “catch them doing something right, instead of doing something wrong.” Focus on all the things you like about your partner and stop dwelling on their imperfections. They’re not perfect, but guess what, neither are you. One of my favourite sayings is that “the grass isn’t greener on the other side, it is greener where you water it.” This is such a beautiful statement. If you’re in a relationship, it’s simple, practice giving gratitude to your partner daily and ‘water’ your partnership. If you’re single and still looking for love, ask yourself if you’ve let go of the pain and disappointment from failed relationships. I encourage you to be grateful and give gratitude to anybody who has ever broken your heart. With every break up, you grow as a person, and you’re one step closer to finding ‘the one’. In fact, if you never had your heart broken, you might not even be able to recognize and appreciate ‘the one’. Previous negative experiences can make you wiser or toxic. Which one do you choose?
Looking for a simple way to start embracing gratitude? Start with a detox. With a complete cleanse, all the little things that you take for granted are taken away from you overnight – your favourite comfort foods, your late night partying, and your drinkies. You are asked to replace all of these with mindful meditation, cleansing organic foods, and a gratitude journal. A detox provides you with the opportunity to re-focus your energy, let go of toxic beliefs or behaviours, and embrace change. With a little bit of commitment during your three week cleanse, you can enjoy a healthier body, a new outlook on relationships, and a new sense of clarity. Send me a message when you’re ready to start. This is a great time of year for self-love. And remember, the more love you give yourself, the more love you have to give to others.