There are only a few hours left of 2014, which means now is the time to figure out what it is you want in 2015. You may have a few personal goals like “ask for a raise” or “go to the gym more often”, but what about your love life? Dating has changed a lot in the last few years, and whether you have been evolving along with it, or find yourself thrust back into the dating scene after a long absence, there are certain things you need to do to be successful. Even if you are in a long term relationship, then doesn’t mean you can stop making an effort with you significant other. Dating doesn’t have to be a chore.
Here are 7 dating resolutions to make 2015 your best dating year yet.
Do Not… Rely solely on Tinder
Admit it, you have probably gotten lazy about finding dates in the last year since Tinder exploded. It is so easy to stare mindlessly at the screen and swipe left or right based on nothing but a photo. Maybe you went on a couple decent dates thanks to the dating app, but overall, how far has Tinder really gotten you? It has its place, but Tinder is all about appearance, and let’s face it, hooking up. So, this year, try giving real live people a chance instead of staring at your phone all day.
Do… Let your Friends (or Family) Set You Up
We have all rolled our eyes when our aunt suggests she set us up with the offspring of her best friend. We think, what does my aunt know about what I am looking for in a date? Probably nothing, you’re right. But her intentions are good, and she wants you to be happy. You never know who the person on the other end of the set up could be. Why write them off just because your pride tells you that you don’t need to be set up? Meeting someone through friends is an even better way to go. Casual group hangouts are low pressure, and the perfect way to get to know someone without having to commit to anything. Sure, set ups have the potential to go horribly wrong, but it can’t be much worse than the endless Tinder dates with people who look nothing like their picture.
Do Not… Use Your Job As An Excuse
We get it. Everyone is busy. But if you really want to improve your relationship prospects you might have to *gasp* go on some actual dates once in awhile. That might mean leaving the office on time a couple days a week, even if it means you have to work through a lunch hour to get important projects done. Cancelling a date because you are swamped at work might be okay once, but no one is going to give you more than two chances after it becomes clear you are married to your job. Ambition is great, being a workaholic is not. It’s all about balance, so quit using your job as an excuse not to get out there and meet people. There is always time, you just have to make it.
Do… Think of Unique Date Ideas
So, you have someone to go on a date with. That’s the first hurdle. It is tempting to just pick a restaurant and meet up with your date there. Then you will spend a couple hours talking about your lives, complimenting the mediocre food, before heading home, and forgetting the date ever happened. Why not be a little more creative with your date ideas? You have gone out of your way to make this date a priority after all, better make it worthwhile. Live comedy shows, concerts, a few games of pool (for a little dose of healthy competition), or a game board cafe, are all fun ideas that will spark out-of-the-box conversation to help you get to know each other. If you only stick to dinner and a movie, it’s no wonder your love life feels a little stale. So challenge yourself to plan dates that will guarantee your companion will be counting the days until she gets to see you again.
Do… Ditch your “type”
One of the biggest reasons people get into dating ruts is they keep picking the same kinds of people. Everyone has a “type”, but there is a reason it never works out with the “brunette free spirit” types. This year, venture outside of your comfort zone, and give different kinds of people a try. Especially appearance-wise, sticking to one type is causing you to miss out on so many amazing, different, interesting people who pass by you everyday. So, turn off your tunnel vision and go on a date with anyone and everyone. Because what do you have to lose?
Do Not… Contact Your Exes
This may not be a problem for everyone, but… we all have someone that we think about from time to time that we consider to be “the one who got away”. January might seem like a great time to send them a quick, casual email to “see how they are doing”. Go ahead and write that email if you need to get it off your chest, but stop before you send it. Remind yourself why you broke up in the first place, and how far you have come since then. Opening up old wounds won’t be good for anybody, so leave the past in the past, and look to the future. You will be happy you did, trust me.
Do… Continue to Put Yourself First
It may seem selfish, and counterproductive to put yourself first when you are looking for someone to spend your life (or just the evening) with, but it is 100% necessary. When you are happy, and confident in yourself and what you have to offer, you will attract the same types of people. You want someone who is whole and secure, and can take care of themselves, not someone who needs you to complete them. Everyone needs time to focus on themselves and their own goals in order to be a good partner. So, make your happiness a priority and the rest will follow