Last week, I experienced a huge social faux pas which will be the subject of today’s column: Reaction. Keeping in mind that the modern-dating culture is built on Impression Management, the impressions you paint on women matter. The next couple of articles exclusively tackle this series, which virtually impacts all aspects of your interactions.
Fact: The dating pool has become more accessible with the introduction of apps and online media. As a result, the competition for singles has gone through the roof. This might sound Darwinian, but the fittest dater, always survives––and wins. Your dating impression, especially on the first date, determines your success level. I have always lived by the gentlemen’s code and that parallels with my dating ideals. With that said, how one handles disgruntled exes or lovers or whatever-status-have-you, is very telling once the relationship or relations is over.
Imagine my reaction when I was out on a date and a former prospect barged in to harp her past gripes. Let me paint this picture clearer: Out with my date, and we happen to come across this other woman. Mind you, it’s been well over 6 months since we had made peace––or so I thought. She approached my date, recounted her grievances and did not endorse her night out. To react or not to react?
Composure–under duress––is a highly appealing trait in the dating field. Getting easily rattled and appearing dishevelled conveys negative body language, which in effect, acts as a social repellent. Your reaction has never been more important than now. With poise, I remained silent until she voiced her displeasure and I continued walking with my date. Naturally, she’d ask what happened and I briefly mentioned our incompatibility. No further sordid details were released aside from that. At the end of the night, she mentioned she was impressed how well I handled that near-disaster. Remember that discretion and composure are the hallmarks to a successful dater. Guard them! Stay tuned for the next series.