“The Gee Spot”. Now don’t assume, as I automatically would have, that I mean this in the sexual context…we have plenty of time to look for that spot later. For right here and now, I am referring to the place in your life where it feels better than all right. The spot where you are ahead of your own game, you are always in the right place at the right time, money is flowing, creative juices are well you get the point…the place where we all want to be, grab a hold of and never let go. Balanced; that elusive place of perfection. It’s a place where our inner Goddess stops her nagging and actually becomes the driver of the vehicle. No one likes a backseat driver who won’t take the wheel yet criticizes you at every wrong turn.
‘How is your relationship with yourself?’ I was recently asked at a dinner party. Not the famous ‘So what do you do?’ or ‘Are you from Toronto originally?’ or ‘How long have you been a wedding planner?’ Believe me, I am always poised and ready for the basics or entry level questions as I refer to them, when it comes to meeting new people. In a relationship with myself – pardon? Stumped, double stumped. Ask me about restaurants, current fashion, my opinion on wedding venues with outdoor tents! Aren’t you a little interested in the guy I’m currently sexting? Or can’t we just talk about how annoying all of the summer construction has become in the city? Easy, breezy, non-committal, a lot less self-examination, sacrifice and hard manual labour involved. These topics flow freely and can provide perfect starting points to get into heavier hitting (ahem) topics like first date disasters, vacations, fertility clinics and celebrity gossip.
So this got me thinking and along came my need to be able to answer this question or at least be able to ask it of myself. I did what gets me the fastest results with field research and started by asking my close circle. The results were staggering! Do you even like you? What do you do to make yourself feel beautiful, worthy, relevant? Ok forgetting the fact that you skipped yoga this morning ignoring the neatly laid out mat and lulu’s, opting instead for a double bacon b.l.t. and an Americano with more cream than espresso… Would you recommend yourself for your current job? Do you think you are worthy of being in a loving and healthy relationship? Do you like the way you look? What is your best feature? And on it went with the Q and A until I realized we have a big problem on our hands. Not a lot of good, healthy, positive answers were found during said fieldwork. Now speaking of fields most are great at playing it and have every game mastered but seemed to have all kinds of other agendas and dialogues happening on the sidelines. The self-defeating kind of answers that with just one word or thought basically can now be referred to as self-deleting. With the kind of responses or attitudes about self-worth that I encountered it is no wonder the 50 Shades phenomenon occurred. We are not allowing ourselves to have this indulgence on our own….to create and feel entitled to live our own dreams, and goals or at least ask for what we want, truly want. Ok, ok I agree that some of the 50 Shades lifestyle may be a little challenging to maintain given we have jobs and need to maintain focus and having an overbearing, sexually insatiable boyfriend may become a bit of a juggling exercise yes, but have we really gotten to this place where we are all looking to escape the way we feel about ourselves, the way we see ourselves?
So this is the journey to the Gee Spot and the place where we deserve to be. Need to be. So desperately want to be. Just be. Happy, healthy, no excuses and definitely no apologies when someone compliments the way we look or the job we’ve done. The place where we give freely and openly to our self first and don’t feel the need to apologize for having to do so. Getting back to the principle that we really do have to be complete and love our self unconditionally before we can be good to anyone else. Imagine that? Can you? How is your relationship with you? Are you ready to take my challenge? Let’s begin…as we have some work to do. I promise we will have lots of fun along the way to becoming invincible.