If eternal love exists, I know two people who have found it: my parents. They’ve shared consistent love, appreciation and passion for one another throughout their 42-year relationship, even when faced with challenging times and adversity.
Since my parents are not the only ones who have experienced this type of love, a pattern can be identified in those relationships which also consist of deep rooted, profound and constant love for one another. The following five principles are integral in a relationship and if practiced, it is highly probable that eternal love can be achieved.
Balance: Being involved in a variety of activities adds multiple layers to your life, providing you with stimulus, depth and purpose. An example of a healthy and full life involves working, exercising, socializing with friends, visiting family, running errands and organizing life, spending time alone and sharing quality time with your partner. Learning to find balance in life is a necessary tool to finding overall well being and success. Finding a healthy balance with discipline and organization, without sacrifice is a challenge, but it is attainable and will contribute to a healthier and happier life and relationship.
Effort: Quite often the challenge may not be to get something; the challenge may be to keep what you already have. Simply stated, never stop making an effort and do not take your partner for granted. This happens far too often and it causes a person to feel unappreciated. It evokes toxic feelings, which can potentially lead to toxic actions (reflect on the effort you made in the beginning of your relationship and be aware that another person may be willing to make an equal effort for your partner now). Remember what made you fall in love with the person you’re with and remind yourself and your partner of these things daily through actions and words.
Consistency: Once a behavior pattern formed, it is expected of you to be consistent; whether it is a telephone call before bed, a sweet morning message, Friday night date night or watching the game together every Sunday. Actions are correlated to feelings. Inconsistency in one’s actions can be interpreted as an inconsistency of feelings. Maintain the routine you’ve established. Know what makes your partner happy and continue to do those things on a regular basis – it is suggested not to start something you cannot maintain (without valid reason).
Loyalty: This should be self explanatory, but to some people, it’s not. We live in a world of multi-tasking, sensory overload and an abundance of options for everything. It is easy to develop the desire to have more than what one needs. Focus on what you have with the person you’re with. Depend on him/her for everything you want, need and desire. Be open and receptive to what your partner wants, needs and desires from you. Don’t compare your partner to others. If you feel a strong need to step out on your relationship, before you do, identify the issues which need to be addressed to subside your need to be with another person. If you still cannot find the satisfaction from your partner, before you step out on him/her, have the decency to leave the relationship before you do.
Need: Most of us live in a society of self-reliant and self-sufficient independent individuals. We don’t really need any body, but the fundamental purpose of a relationship is to feel the sense of belonging to someone else. Knowing that you can depend on another person and intrinsically knowing that you’re not alone are important components of a relationship. To feel a level of dependency requires comfort with feeling vulnerable – a state we reserve for only those we trust in the highest regard. Once your partner has proven his/her trustworthiness, be open to feeling vulnerable. Honor your partner by showing him/her that they are needed and they are safe to need you too.
Like many things in life, a relationship requires effort and maintenance. These five basic principles are necessary to achieve consistent success in a relationship, which will create a foundation for success in all other aspects of life as well. This was evident in my parents’ inspiring relationship.
Unfortunately my dad passed away five months ago, so their journey together has now ended – however their love will remain forever eternal.