• Nationwide
  • Toronto
  • Vancouver
  • Calgary
  • Montreal
  • Los Angeles
  • Chicago
  • NYC
  • Dating
    • Editor’s Dating Notes
    • Better Dating Ideas
    • “The Bachelor” Advice
    • Guy Talk
    • Girl Talk
  • Relationships
  • Sex
  • Events
  • Fashion
    • Men’s Style
    • Women’s Style
  • Lifestyle
    • Gossip
    • Wine & Dine
    • Luxurious Living
    • Entertainment
    • Destinations
  • Wellness
    • Men’s Fitness
    • Women’s Fitness
    • Get Inspired
    • Doctor’s Orders
    • A Better YOU
    • Beauty
  • Bachelor & Bachelorette
  • Cities
    • Nationwide
    • Toronto
    • Vancouver
    • Calgary
    • Montreal
    • Los Angeles
    • Chicago
    • NYC
Sex 0

A Wandering Eye Might Be Good for Your Relationship

By Jessica O'Reilly @SexWithDrJess · On

Do you and your lover talk openly about the thoughts, sights and scenarios that turn you on? Do you admit that other people sometimes wander in and out of your fantasies or have you adopted a “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy to sexual attraction?

A wandering eye can actually enhance a relationship

Most of us have been conditioned to desire a lover who only has eyes for us. However, couples who are madly in love suggest that a wandering eye can actually enhance a relationship. Brett, who has been married for twelve years appreciates the fact that his wife Helen encourages him to admire other women:

“We’re not Swingers or anything, but browsing can be fun. Even though I don’t want to have sex with other women, I sure do like the idea of it. It keeps things exciting and I feel like it gives me variety without any of the hassle or risk. She is always my number one and I can’t tell you how happy I am to be with a woman who is secure enough to admit that she’s not the only pretty woman in town.”

Other couples agree. By giving one another permission to look, fantasize and even talk about what excites them outside of the relationship, Margaret explains that it actually fuels the fire in the bedroom:

“He knows he has nothing to worry about. But looking at other men whets my appetite. After a night out admiring other handsome guys, I come home ready to jump him! And who would complain about that?”

Her husband of eight years, Adam, adds that her honesty actually makes him less jealous: “If she were to pretend that I’m the only handsome guy on the planet, I’d know she was lying and I’d wonder what else she is lying about. So by being honest about what she likes, I trust her even more. It’s just not realistic to think that I’ll be the only dude on her radar for the rest of her life. After all, she’s human and so am I. If she were to pretend that this was the case, I’d see it as lying and it would lay a weak foundation for the rest of our relationship.”

giai_oan_cho_nhung_anh_chang_liec_gai_2

Just as we admire the diversity of beauty in nature, architecture, art and design, so too can we admire the human body without the need to narrow our thoughts and fantasies to a monogamy-takes-all perspective. Our attraction to our partners runs deeper than the skin and is not rooted solely in the aesthetic. Accordingly, the experience of primal sexual attraction and the complexity of intimate connection can be mutually exclusive.

So the next time you find yourself feeling jealous in response to your lover’s attraction to another guy/gal, ask yourself what really fuels your jealousy and remember that a wandering eye is not necessarily tantamount to a wandering heart.

Share Tweet

Jessica O'Reilly

Dr. Jess (Jessica O’Reilly) is a sought-after sexologist with a PhD in human sexuality. She maintains a private practice in Toronto and travels the world to speak at events that promote healthy and deliciously pleasurable sex. From regular appearances on Cosmopolitan Television and Playboy TV to hosting retreats in the sunny Caribbean, she relishes in every moment! SexWithDrJess.com

You Might Also Like

  • MatchMaking Dating

    Should You Consider A Professional Matchmaking Service?

  • combat depression A Better YOU

    Read To Combat Depression

  • Dating Ideas Montreal Better Dating Ideas

    Better Dating Ideas Montreal

More from this author

  • Sex

    Five Things You Didn’t Know About Female Orgasms

  • Sex

    What You Can Do About His Lost Erection

  • Sex

    How To Improve Your Sex Life Tonight!

No Comments

Leave a reply Cancel reply

Search

Subscribe & Follow

Follow @EligibleZine
Follow on Instagram
Eligible Magazine Pheed
Follow eligiblezine

Find us on Facebook

Eligible Magazine’s Recommended Dating App

Eligible TV

Twitter: eligiblezine

  • There really is no place like home especially when our beaches are this beautiful we got together the best beaches… https://t.co/hiMFCfYUoO 08:00:23 PM July 12, 2019 from Hootsuite Inc.
  • RT @EligibleZine: As time goes, on nature takes its course. An aging parent is hard enough to handle, let alone while keeping your relation… 03:43:50 PM July 12, 2019 from Twitter for iPhone
  • Comfort is great when it comes to beds, couches and clothes but for your life it can be limiting to your best poten… https://t.co/Le9uIQq6pg 02:45:15 PM July 08, 2019 from Hootsuite Inc.

Eligible Poll

Eligible Magazine now available on iPad, iPhone and smartphone

  • Contributors

About

Eligible Magazine is a lifestyle magazine for urban men and women who want the best from their dating life, their relationships and themselves. It features articles and video content on dating, relationships, sex, wellness and lifestyle by some of the country's foremost experts. The magazine is available online, for sale on Apple's Newsstand for your iPad or iPhone and soon to be in print.

Recent Posts

  • toronto's most eligible bachelorette

    Toronto’s Most Eligible Bachelorette

  • dating in a pandemic

    Dating In A Pandemic

  • dating long distance

    Long Distance Relationships Have Led To Separation

  • How To Help During The COVID-19 Pandemic

Contact

Contact Eligible Magazine
Work for Eligible Magazine
Advertise with Eligible Magazine
Write for Eligible Magazine
Unsubscribe
Privacy Policy

Search

© 2013 Eligible Magazine. All rights reserved.
  • Sitemap
  • Help
  • Contact Us
  • Terms of Use
  • Copyright
  • Privacy & Cookie Policy
  • Advertising
  • Announcements
Eligible Magazine
Eligible Magazine on Apple App Store