Any guy who has suffered from premature ejaculation (PE) and even those who just worry that they don’t last long enough in bed has probably read up a fair amount on the subject. I’m a big believer in educating yourself about sexuality (obviously!), so I think that’s great, but unfortunately the Internet can sometimes have just as much misleading information on a subject as it does helpful information.
What’s a guy to do?
First, you need to know that you have a credible source of information, don’t just believe everything you read!
Today we’re going to discuss some of the myths you may have heard about PE:
1. Thinking of something unsexy will help me last longer. Wrong. Even guys who never worried about premature ejaculation have tried this one. With PE you want to pay more attention and be more tuned in with your body, not less. This isn’t a long term solution to PE and it will only diminish your pleasure and experience of sex. It will probably diminish your partner’s enjoyment as well since she’s sure to sense that you’re picturing your hated ex boss and not paying attention to her.
2. Premature ejaculation is only a psychological dysfunction. Wrong. Premature ejaculation can be caused by a number of factors both psychological and physical. Stress, anxiety, medications, and health problems are just a few of the reasons why a man could have an issue with PE. You should first speak with your doctor about ruling out different causes and possible treatments.
3. Sprays and creams are great ways to control PE. Wrong. What most of those kinds of products do is numb the penis and dull down your sensation. This doesn’t actually fix the problem of premature ejaculation because even if you are able to last longer, you won’t have learned any techniques that will help you in the long run. The next time you have sex without the cream or spray the problem will return. Plus, if your pleasure is being numbed away, it kind of ruins the whole point of sex in the first place. And unless you’re using a condom with your partner these treatments can also numb her vagina and vulva, which isn’t what you want at all.
4. Drinking, drugs and general self medicating helps PE. Wrong. It’s wrong, wrong, wrong, but it’s another really common myth. A lot of guys think if they have a couple drinks or self medicate in some other way (marijuana, cocaine, antidepressants) then they will last longer. This is dangerous for a few reasons. 1) You could become sexually dependent on your “treatment” of choice and not be able to perform without it. 2) These things usually CAUSE sexual dysfunction, NOT help to alleviate them. Doing this is probably just going to make your problem worse. And I hate to tell you, being with a drunk/drugged up guy every night is NOT a woman’s dream come true.
5. Very few men suffer from premature ejaculation. Wrong. The Mayo Clinic reports that one in three men experience PE at some point in their life. It’s not something men get together and chat about and of course there is a lot of stigma surround PE, but it’s not uncommon at all.
6. Premature ejaculation can’t be controlled. Wrong. Various treatments for PE do exist. It’s not easy for every man to control the issue, but there are ways without turning to drugs or some kind of medical intervention.
Premature ejaculation is tough on guys who have to deal with it, but it’s not uncommon and it’s not untreatable. Don’t look for the quick fix, but try techniques that are tried and true. Speak with your doctor first to find out about the treatments that he/she can suggest.
By Gabrielle Moore
Gabrielle Moore helps couples around the world improve their sex lives. She communicates daily with her more than 300,000 subscribers. Gabrielle is the author of several best-selling books, such as “The Female Orgasm Revealed“, “Turn Her On Faster“, “Hot Licks“, and many others.