Do you have certain hopes and dreams that are on hold because you are waiting for the “other person” to get on board, or make a move? Have you been patiently waiting for the “right time” when it will be your turn to get what you want? How will you know when you have waited too long? Whether you apply this to a romantic interest, a friend, or an employer, here are 10 signs you are being strung along in your relationship.
1. The person you are with is happy where things are and wants to maintain the status quo. They say things like “why ruin a good thing?”
2. The conversation about your desired topic is being put off or avoided.
3. They put up road blocks to simple requests or comments that introduce a layer of complexity that slow things down.
4. There is desire without a plan – you are still in the stage of wishful thinking. There are no real plans for the future or a vision for it being created.
5. Just as you get disappointed and lose hope, they reel you back in and create a false sense of
progress that makes you think that things are finally happening. Only to fall back into a lull once they feel you have been temporarily satisfied.
6. They send selective replies to texts or emails.
7. They discuss the possibilities without the willingness to formally commit.
8. They let you take the lead and do the work to figure out “how things will work”, sending you deeper into your own fantasy.
9. They make excuses: “it’s not the right time”. “We don’t have enough money” etc.
10. When they do have the time and money, you aren’t their first priority.
…And the bottom line sign: You feel it in your gut. You won’t admit it but you know something is off. It feels like a glass wall of resistance always seems to slow things down.
Now you know you are being strung along….
But how how long should you put up with it?
When your dreams turn into regrets. The time passes and your window starts to close on the
possibility. You compromise so much you lose sight of your dreams. You lose connection with yourself and your light begins to diminish. When friends ask you about your dream, you hear yourself give the same excuses that your partner does – you have bought into their conversation and have stopped investing in your own dream.
Then resentment piles up and you blame your partner for your loss – meanwhile you are the one holding yourself back.
Maybe it’s time to come clean and admit to yourself that this person just doesn’t want what you want. Ask yourself if they have been honest with you, but you are hanging on by only listening for what you want to hear? Is your optimism that they will “come around” actually a delusion?
Ask yourself “why am I with someone who won’t accompany me on the journey?” Why am I choosing to be held back, and in essence holding myself back? What am I afraid of, and who would I be if I had what I wanted?
How to get unstrung and fulfill your dreams:
1. Take back your power and realize that you have the ability to choose something different.
2. Stop prioritizing others excuses ahead of your dreams. Recognize when you are letting someone else dictate the timing of your life.
3. Commit to yourself with a timeline. Create a vision for what you want, and start taking baby steps towards it.
4. Get coaching or join a group with the same ideals, dreams or values who will support the journey.
5. Recognize your own excuses. Is it clear that underneath it all your fear is what’s truly in the way? Your results reveal what’s undermined in your life. There are 7 subconscious beliefs that sabotage your life – are you falling victim to one of them?
What would it take to be free and fulfilled in your life and are you willing to be courageous and make the change?
The good news is that you have been holding the keys to your life all along. Life is short and if you have an inner dream that has been inspiring you to take action – run towards it. Answer the call before it turns to an inner nagging and then regret. You deserve to be happy!