When you start longing for a romantic relationship do you imagine yourself with someone you would be happy with for the rest of your life or are you afraid and want to ‘protect’ yourself and would rather play it ‘safe’ by blocking either giving or receiving love?
Some people seem to be able to find a great mate and great friends quite easily while others seem to keep attracting very painful experiences. Is having loving relationships luck or a habit?
Habit is defined in Wikipedia as “a routine of behavior that is repeated regularly and tends to occur unconsciously.” In the American Journal of Psychology (1903) it is defined in this way: “A habit, from the standpoint of psychology, is a more or less fixed way of thinking, willing, or feeling acquired through previous repetition of a mental experience.” Has your dating history become a habit? Or are your habits creating your dating history?
One of the ways I most help my clients is by getting them to become aware of their beliefs, which have created their habits and their reality. One of the most important beliefs I help them become clear about is what it means to love. Most of us, until we understand more about love, are afraid of it. And love by its definition is the safest thing in the world and if it’s not safe… it’s not love, it’s need.
How do we know the difference between love vs. need?
When we love someone we want the best for them while respecting our needs; when we need someone we use them to give us something like a sense of self, of financial security, of status, of purpose, a way to numb our emotional pain. If the idea of losing the person you are with makes you feel like Romeo and Juliette, that if you lost them you would die, then you need that person instead of actually loving them. It is so very important to make sure that we keep our sense of self in our own centre, that we do not use others as a way to numb some insecurity or fear of some kind but rather as an opportunity to learn to love ourselves and others, which will make us truly happy.
If you’re ready to take a step towards opening your heart to true, authentic love then I have the perfect, quick and easy meditation for you. I created this meditation for my personal coaching clients and now invite you to give it a try. Simply go to heartfreedommeditation.com if you like it, make sure to pass it on and share the love.
Is dating your type keeping you single? Click Here