Well, if there is one thing we should take away from this week’s episode of The Bachelor, it’s this: You’re not a virgin unless you publically brag about it for two hours straight.
Welcome back to another week on The Bachelor, ladies and gents. This week Chris takes his ladies for a little scandalous camping adventure, wedding dress mud racing and he meets his secret Cinderella. Sounds pretty tame if you ask me. Just kidding. Things are never tame with Chris and his herd.
Let’s start with Ashley S. FYI; she’s a virgin too. She had to tell Chris two times because realistically, who can ever understand what she means the first time?
Ashley I. however, also had to tell Chris multiple times about her “innocence,”(Anyone else picking up on this innocent act?). But in order to prove her innocence, she had to emphasize that she was “frickin innocent.” If I may be blunt for a moment, I would like to dedicate the following message to Ashley I.
Dear Ashley I.,
Nobody “frickin” cares.
The millions of viewers you pained for 120 minutes.
The second group date, Chris took his ladies to some sort of mud obstacle course.
Once again Chris, you know how to fancy the ladies. Jillian dominated the pack, with Britt not too far behind. Chris took Jillian out to dinner where Jillian talks for about 99.9% of the meal, as Chris begged the cameras to make the date stop. At the end of their meal, Chris realized he couldn’t give her a rose, because well, let’s face it… Why on earth would you ask, “Would you rather sleep with a homeless woman, or abstain from sex for five years?” Does class exist anymore, or am I the only one that has a sense of mannerisms? Goodbye Jillian.
During the group date, Chris’ three sisters came to the house to interview the remaining ladies. The sister’s chose Jade to be Chris’s surprise Cinderella for the night, where she was pampered with diamonds, shoes and a beautiful ball gown.
Ashley I. was so jealous that she decided to dress up on her own just to prove she would make a better Cinderella. Sorry Ashley, but like the ladies said, “You don’t have a prince.” Awkward.
At the Rose Ceremony, Chris sent home Ashley S., Juelia, and Nikki. Sorry, but who’s Nikki?