Have you been stuck on the road to love awhile? Do you find yourself in the same situations over and over again unsure of why things aren’t working out? If you want to find real and lasting love but you’ve spent the better part of the last few years perpetually single it could be time to reflect on what’s been holding you back.
This means taking a close look at what you’ve been telling yourself about you and your relationships and then inviting new ways of thinking into your life. Some steps will come easy and some you will resist, but if you want to get a different result you have to try something different. If you’re willing to let go of what might be holding you back, you will begin to create a shift in your life and be on a much clearer path to getting the love you want.
Let Go of Accepting The Wrong Person
A big part of dating is not only finding the right person, but also not accepting the wrong person. Sometimes you so desperately want to be loved and in a relationship, that you’ll stay with the first person that wants you whether or not they’re the right fit.
If you keep finding yourself with the wrong person, it’s important to get clear and evaluate what’s going on with you. Look inside and really figure out what you want and what makes you happy in life and love. Get to know your core values and use them to decide whether a potential partner is right for you or not.
Let Go Of Complaining That There Are No Good Men In Your City
From East to West, no matter who I talk to everyone complains that their city is the worst for meeting men, but it’s simply not true. Great men are EVERYWHERE all you have to do is look for them. They’re in line at Starbucks, Whole Foods, gyms, the beach, they’re everywhere you are. So the next time you’re out instead of checking your phone every 5 minutes, have your head up, be open and aware of who is around you. Once you make it a habit to start looking, I can guarantee that you’ll be surprised by what you find.
Let Go of Comparing Your Life To Others
Whatever it may be work, apartment, friends, money or whether or not you’re in a relationship, your life is just as valid as anyone else’s. It’s ok that you’re single, being in a relationship doesn’t define who you are. YOU define who you are. Ever hear the expression – comparison is the thief of joy? Make your attitude gratitude. What would happen if you let go of comparing yourself to others and instead began to be grateful for what you have right now?
Let Go Of Being Attached To The Outcome
Dating should be fun, but for many the process becomes daunting and depressing when you put too much pressure on the outcome of a first or even third date. Especially true in the age of online dating, you can get on a merry go round of dates that go nowhere. You get dressed up, head out to meet him, excited thinking is it him? Is he the one? We’re perfect for each other, we have so much in common. And all this is before you even order a drink. You don’t even know this person but you’re already thinking about marriage and kids. Then, when for whatever reason it doesn’t work out you find yourself home weary and emotionally drained. We all have ups and downs, but the key difference with happy people is how they think about their failures and successes. Go into a date with the attitude that you’re there to have a great time and meet someone new. Be curious. Be present. Be engaged. If they aren’t right for you at least you had a great time or learned something new about what you’re looking for in a partner. Remember that the early stages of dating aren’t personal and every person you meet is a step in the right direction.
Let Go Of Putting Up Walls Around Your Heart
This means allowing yourself to be vulnerable and having an open heart. If you’ve been hurt a few times, as we all have, putting up walls can feel like a natural thing. However the beautiful things in life come to us when we show some vulnerability. This person is a new person, not the person that hurt you. And it’s not fair to go into what could be a new relationship treating them as if they have, or will in the future. Be uncomfortable, be uncertain, open up and connect with your most authentic you.
Let Go Of Waiting For Someone Else To Make You Happy
Do you spend your life going through the motions? If you’re like many people I work with, life has started to become an endless cycle of work, gym, tv/internet and sleep with little or no fun in between. You aren’t happy now but you will be one day when you meet ‘The One’. Not only is this idea unrealistic but it’s a lot of pressure. How would you feel if the tables were turned and someone showed up and expected you to be their every source of happiness? A great partner should complement your already happy life not be filling a void.
There’s no one that can make you as happy as you can make yourself – its an inside job. Living the life you want and feeling fulfilled starts with you and it starts now, not someday. Don’t know what makes you happy? Find out! What gets you thinking, gets you excited, keeps you curious or interested? Start exploring and listening to those ideas that keep popping up over and over again and then take action on them. It might look like taking an art class, learning a new language, going back to school, taking a dream vacation, playing an instrument or moving to a new city. Whatever it is, just take that first step.
Let Go Of Self Doubt
Believe In Yourself. This is probably the most important thing of all. Are you living your best life possible? Are you listening to your heart and intuition? Let go of what you think you should do or what others tell you to do. Go with your gut, listen for that little whisper of intuition no matter what others think. Trust yourself. Believing in yourself takes practice and it’s something that you’ll be tested on again and again but the more you do it the easier it gets. And the more you believe in yourself the more you will attract that supportive partner. After all how can someone believe in you, if you don’t believe in yourself?
My Challenge To You
Change doesn’t come easy for any of us. We want it to be easy, we want to be certain, we want a magic wand. Magic wands don’t exist, but choices do and you can have the life you want if you chose to decide to. Ask yourself what beliefs you’re holding on to, if they’re serving you and if you’re willing to try a new way of thinking, being, doing. Start with one belief at a time and then add more as time goes on. Take that first step, make a new choice and let go of what’s holding you back.
What’s the #1 thing you need to let go of on the path to true love? Leave a comment below and share your thoughts with me!