What’s up with that? All the signs were there, he was cute, cleared your mental dating checklist and to top it off you guys maybe even kissed- and it was amazing, or so you thought. Despite how great you perceived a date, or how awesome you told your closest group of girlfriends the date was, it is possible that the guy or whoever was lucky enough to take you out on a date was either not into it or not ready to take things any further at this time. Which honestly, totally sucks.
Though it is important not to be discouraged by the fact he never called, even if he said he would, even the most optimistic person can feel like they are being dragged through the ringer after a few unsuccessful dates. Instead of another post about the things YOU did wrong during the date, let’s point out a few helpful tips to help you out before your next date to ensure to hear from him again.
1. Mystery Is Key! Don’t put everything you’re about out on full display. Think of yourself as a book with an amazing cliffhanger that leaves the reader, or in this case your date, wanting to know what’s next? Too often, we ladies are so caught up with trying to impress he/she that we find ourselves rambling on and on about nothing in particular just to try and keep the conversation up. Remember less is more, let them ask about you and develop the interest that will hopefully and eventually bloom into something more.
2. Don’t Paint A Picture. Whether or not we ladies like to admit it, we will all envision such an elaborate and romantic life together with this new person that we only just met that we should honestly win some kind of prize for having this detailed of an imagination. This only sets you up for failure, and we’re all guilty of it. So instead of thinking up your wedding colours in your head and what to name the twins, try figuring out if you could see yourself as friends first with this new potential beau, that way you cushion the fall a little easier if things don’t go from 0-100 after the first date as your imagination had planned out for you.
Looking yourself on a 1st date is the only way to truly know if he/she is attracted to the real you.
3. Look & Act like Yourself On The First Date. We’ve all seen the hilarious memes on Instagram “How you look like Beyonce in your selfies and Chief Keef in person”, well the same rule sort of applies in the dating world. You are not expected to look like a totally different person than you do on your day-to-day life on your first date. This is unrealistic, and going to be a hassle to maintain. Think about it, what is your date going to think when your hair is blown out professionally and an artist from MAC contoured your face to perfection on the first date and by the second or third date he’s lucky if your winged eyeliner is even? Looking yourself off the bat is the only way to truly know if he/she is right for you. You can’t put up an act for the rest of your relationship so you might as well just start things off naturally. But hey, this doesn’t mean you can’t try to look your best for that first initial meet.
4. Before Meeting Know What You Both Are Looking For. Especially if you met on an online dating platform like Tinder, Plenty of Fish, eHarmony or Seeking Arrangements. This is extremely important if you want to avoid some serious disappointment down the line. The first step to a successful meeting, whether in a business environment or in the dating realm is to know what the expected outcome is to be. This is to avoid wasting both your time, and your dates time. A lot of the times, he/she may only be looking for a hookup, while you’re strictly in the business of finding your Prince Charming. Imagine the disappointment on both ends in this scenario which could have been easily avoided by being both honest and upfront from the start.
5. Don’t Be Afraid To Say You Had Fun. And that you’d like to see them again. Unless you don’t and then you can skip this step and never look back. There is absolutely nothing wrong with saying how much you appreciated going out together and you would be open to doing this again soon. If you’ve said this, leave it at that and leave it up to them to use this bait to their advantage and ask you out for date number two. If they don’t, then you have your answer and you can move on knowing it wasn’t meant to workout and he/she wasn’t into it as much as you, or they’re not looking for the same things as you at this time. This doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you, just that this wasn’t the right person or time.
Have more tips before heading out the door on your next big date? Let me know! Tweet me or comment below.