Sex. Nudity. Multiple positions. 50-year-old body vs. your 25-year-old self. Passion. Inhibitions. The Big O. Each and every one of these subjects can spark fear or cause your insecurities to rise, but when you decide to embark on a sexual relationship after a divorce, these fears can become epic. The key to overcome the emotions, which can debilitate and hinder your experience, is self-love.
What is self-love? Self-love is truth and acceptance. It is the understanding of how your body works, while loving your curves, your ebb, and your flow. Here is the great part, once you understand and have a true sense of self; you now have the ability to dismantle any inhibitions.
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The first step, know your body. But more importantly, love every aspect of your physical and mental self. The following exercise is not easy. In fact most people will struggle with it. But the power that comes from loving who you are creates an aura of sensuality, strength and passion. Find a full-length mirror. Stand in front of it, naked. No cheating, make sure the lights are on. Take a long look at yourself. Notice the scars, the rolls, your weight, birthmarks, your pimples, your penis, your vagina, you buttock, and your breasts, your everything. If you are ready to cover up after the first five seconds, then take it slow. Continue to view your body, not as a place of embarrassment, but rather as a temple of admiration. If you are relaxed with how you look, and move and feel, imagine how that will transpose to your new partner.
You are ready for your next step. It is time to end the comparison of who you were, vs. who you now are. By doing this, you are giving yourself permission to dismantle any mental barriers, regarding sex. Marriage may have created monotonous rituals regarding when to have sex, and how to have sex. Passion and fun became footnotes. If you always wanted to try something, watch something or read about the latest way to bring your arousal to the next level, you now have that power. You are the one in control of your sexual self. This is an exciting time in your life. Embrace it and unleash your bliss.
It is important to remember that you are not alone. What is your story? What are some of the ways you overcame your fears with having sex after divorce? How did you ignite your mojo?