The New Year is like a blank slate, an offering of new beginnings. Of course you have to do your part by taking inventory, getting clear what you want and taking action. So, if you want this to be your Year of Love, here are 10 things that you can do.
1. Make a Dating Action Plan
It is one thing to say, ‘I’m going to date more’ but another to quantify and concretize your statement. New Year’s goals are more successful when they are measurable. I have seen my dating coaching clients be more successful when they say, ‘I will write 10 guys, three days a week on a dating site,’ or, ‘I will go to at least one singles event a week.’ Try this approach.
2. Create a Vision Board
Creating a vision board concretes that which you want to manifest. It is like a beautiful road map that you can look at a daily basis. It brings up all the feelings and imagery of living the life that you want. Cut out some magazine pictures related to the life and relationship that you most desire. Then glue them onto a poster board with relevant words and quotes. Hang it above your bed to inspire you.
3. Clear Away Past Baggage
In order to start this year fresh with an open heart, you may need to forgive others and release past baggage and limiting beliefs. My book, Dating from the Inside Out: How to Use the Law of Attraction in Matters of the Heart’ has a whole section with exercises on how to do this. But, for now, create a list of everything that you’d like to release and then burn it. Each time that you think of a person and situation that was painful, just let it go and commit to being present and in a state of love.
4. Be Grateful & Satisfied
Love and gratitude is the most attractive energy. It is compelling when a person is satisfied in their life and isn’t looking to be saved or completed by a partner. Notice your energy and think about how to fill yourself with more love. Meditate on what you are grateful for and list the things that make you happy in your life right now. What you focus on expands.
5. Enjoy Your Own Company
You are more likely to settle on the wrong partner when you feel lonely or desperate. When you like your life and you enjoy your own company, the other person can feel this. I suggest creating regular dates with yourself to pursue your interests or do fun things. This way you have a happy, independent life with or without a date.
READ MORE: What To Say When Asked Why You’re Single
6. Create the Life You Love, Now
Many women wait to buy a house, to travel widely, or to volunteer until they have met their match. They devote all their focus just to dating while their personal growth and life satisfaction remain on hold. But you feel most powerful when you are living your bliss and taking chances. You will also have more to share, so do it now.
7. Practice Commitment
New Year’s resolutions are about practicing commitment. This means that you will keep going when the going gets rough. When applied to dating this means that you keep going out even after a series of crummy dates. But you can also use this year to commit to things in general. Try your best to set goals and follow through, working around any set-backs. This way you will be ready to make a larger commitment when you do meet your life partner. The course of true love never runs smooth and marriage is also challenging. So prove to yourself that you can take responsibility, problem-solve and follow through on things.
8. Be Clear On What You Want
Whenever you have a goal it’s good to have clear criteria so that you know when you have achieved it. If you are dating, take some time to think about the kind of partner you want to attract. I suggest writing 5-7 core things that you’re looking for and up to 5 things you won’t tolerate. Look at any negative characteristics that you have chosen in past partners and be conscious about not choosing those again.
READ MORE: How To Spot Dating Lies
9. Say Yes More Than No
Although attraction is important and hard to quantify, it takes time to really know and love someone. This is why (unless there are red flags) I recommend giving a date three chances. People can be shy or nervous at first. So, if you tend to reject a lot of suitors, consider being a little more generous and less judgmental this year. In dating, you are getting to know a variety of people but you don’t have to marry them!
10. Get a Wing Woman, Dating Buddy or Dating Coach
Sometimes it’s hard to brave the world of dating alone. I have seen many do it (and I know you can too) but it can be more fun to go out with some single friends or to get a wing woman when going to events or bars. This way a friend can help you make introductions and can chat with you and support you during the dull moments. Sometimes when singles don’t have that type of support they get a dating coach to encourage them and to help keep them on track.
Whatever you choose, creating extra support around your goals usually helps.