Where have the tears of our fathers gone? Was your father afraid to express his emotion? Are you?
The loss of conscious masculinity in our culture has become an epidemic for the health of our world. For decades, men showing any kind of emotion has been frowned upon and crying has evolved to being looked at as weak and fragile. A great loss of self-expression amongst men has contributed to many of them never achieving adulthood in their lifetimes. If they do, it’s probably after some great adversity and heartache that has served to break them of their conditioning. The conditioning that has kept emotion and expression tightly wound up inside them.
How did we become this way? History is a great teacher to understand how we’ve become the way we are. Tens of millions of immigrants emigrated to North America from Europe in the nineteenth century. They left home for the prospect of something better and for generations they worked and slaved in the worst conditions in an attempt to make a better life for their families. The men of that era are responsible for the roads, bridges and infrastructure that sustain us today, but they suffered in the worst working conditions to provide for their families.
Hardened by what they had to do by day, they became absent by night at home with their wives and families. “Be a man and don’t cry you little wussy”, became what young boys heard for generations from their fathers. Fathers who couldn’t risk expressing emotion for fear of uncorking decades of grief and loss. Without the expression of real emotion and the ability to grieve the horrible things that they experienced, consciousness has since diminished for the majority of our population.
Is this you? Do you struggle with expressing emotions and being vulnerable about what you’re dealing with? Being alone and disconnected has become the way most of us deal with the heartache and sorrow of our lives. Rather than grieving our sorrow, we turn against it and get angry. We lose our ability to be authentic and vulnerable. If given the choice, many of us would choose different fathers and yet most of us are becoming just like them.
At Helix we deeply contemplate this loss in our culture and in each of us as individual men. We work together to see vulnerability as a strength and as an access to having real power in our lives. Our men’s programs are designed to view life through the lens of our grief and that grieving is a skill that allows us to become more of who we were born to be and not who life has shaped us to be. Emotional self expression is the doorway toward becoming who you want to be and toward your own transformation.
Consciousness is power and your access to it is through your ability to be vulnerable and dig for the gold in your past. Here are a few powerful choices you can make:
- Be vulnerable – share the things that are bringing out your insecurities. Share the emotions that arise when you do.
- Practice being grateful – gratitude is your lens to see beauty in the ordinary and extraordinary moments.
- Be courageous – the courage of being open to your own development will give you a new level of consciousness and power.
- Surround yourself with courage – seek out people and other men who understand the link between becoming self-aware and conscious masculinity.
- Know your past – seek out your ancestry and how you arrived in the place that you live.
If we all have the courage to grow our self-awareness, as a society we have a chance to grow our collective consciousness and with it, our ability to make a difference in the world. Join us at Helix to be a part of change and growth.
Article By Michael Strait on behalf of Helix Healthcare Group
Michael Strait is a Certified Life Coach and co-facilitator of the Conscious Masculinity Program at Helix Healthcare Group.