When the age old discussion arises of what should be the essential base of a dating relationship, instantaneously ‘respect’ comes to my mind. However, most of the time when we get caught up in that thing called ‘love’ we overlook the fact that unless we do not respect our self and individuality, it will be difficult for our partner to reciprocate respect. It’s a universal rule that the way we treat ourselves is how the world will assume we deserve to be treated in return.
Chuck away the checklist
Now first things first, that checklist everyone has at the back of their head for the ‘ultimate partner’, chuck that in the bin and give yourself a treat for doing that! There’s no such thing as an ‘ultimate partner’, sure we have a few basic requirements that we’d want to see in the person we are in a relationship with, however, don’t make those requirements your religious doctrine! This is where compromise comes into play, while you’re in a relationship there will be certain characteristics or habits of your partner that will get under your skin. But same goes for them, you probably sometimes make them itch with sheer annoyance too! That’s where mutual respect comes into play; your partner and you are aware of what gets each other to tick so work on how to avoid conflict by detouring from the conflict triggering habits.
Embrace thy individuality
Compromise is healthy, it tatters down our human ego and teaches us to be softer, patient and more caring towards those we respect and love. However, I have seen too many people in relationships that end up compromising their individuality to ‘win over’ their partners. If you’re looking for the ‘right one’, primarily don’t comprise on the individuality that makes you, you. If that is compromised then it is next to impossible to find and keep a partner who you are realistically compatible with. After tirelessly trying to adopt core characteristics that your partner finds desirable there will come a time where you will snap, after all, there’s only so much of our individuality that we can completely transform. Not only will it depressingly devour you with the feeling of ‘not being good enough’ but it will eventually start taking a negative toll on your relationship. Self-awareness is vital when it comes to dating relationships, especially when there’s a mutual attraction; you may be attracted to an individual and vice-versa however that does not define compatibility and guess what, that is totally okay!
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There is somebody out there for everyone, no really there is! All you have to do is embrace your individuality and respect yourself enough to invest in a partner who is willing to respect, care for and love the real, rawness of who you truly are.