Is it love, or merely lust? Romantic love can represent the true union of two souls who value one another as lovers and life partners, but lust just means you want to get in their pants. It’s like the difference between those Prada bags Olivia Pope used to wear on Scandal (May that show rest in peace), and the lower rent version I purchased at the Kate Spade factory outlet in Palm Springs. Sure, both look good when you initially take them home, but one is going to last a lot longer.
How does one ascertain whether their new squeeze is all about the sex, or if the relationship has legs? The answer is lots of introspection. To help decide if your new bae is here stay, we’ve prepared three questions to reveal whether your relationship is the real deal.
1. Do you see them even when sex is off the table?
The first time you sleep together in the euphemistic sense is big for any relationship. But you know what’s even bigger? The first time you share a bed
without getting naked.
There’s no greater sign someone is into you than when they come over while are out of sexual commission. Whether you have a cold, your period, or jock itch, it’s a good sign if an impediment to sexy times doesn’t deter your special someone. If they want to snuggle up and spend a chaste night in your boudoir, you know they like the whole you, not just the parts around your pelvis. If it’s more than lust, they’ll want to be there for more than just the sexy stuff, and you’ll want them there, too. As my aunt always says, “Love is holding someone’s hair back when they vomit.”
2. Do you know the name of their childhood pet?
Yes, this question is a bit specific, but it’s a good litmus test. Lustful conversations are consummately flirty. But when you’re in love, the dinner conversation will go beyond talking about how much you want to eat each other for dessert. If you can’t recall precious pieces of trivia like their best vacation ever or the time their mom walked in on them masturbating, maybe
you and your boo are not meant to be. Remember, love is more than an endless stream of orgasms and ass grabs.
3. Can you imagine yourselves going to Ikea together?
According to the classic Erich Segal novel/Major Motion picture Love Story, “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” Well, that notion is sweet and all, but real love is not killing someone while shopping at Ikea. In my experience, nothing tests a relationship more than a trip to pick up DIY Swedish furniture. You have to navigate crowds, crying babies, and $1 breakfasts that give me indigestion. If you and a partner still dig each other after the unsexy task of picking a new armoire, then maybe you’re meant to be.
Bonus Test: Try working together to assemble that Ikea dining set or credenza. If you and your boo can navigate that process, congratulations! You might as well go ahead and book the venue for your diamond anniversary because nothing could tear you two apart!