I love the topic of Flirting. Generally people have a strong reaction to it. They either say:
“I’m a great flirt” or
“I’m terrible at flirting – I totally don’t know what I’m doing”
Generally it’s the latter so I thought I would share some simple “party flirt tips” for the upcoming season.
When flirting, learn to walk the fine line and remember that being slightly elusive is exceptionally attractive. Men really need to feel safe, but they definitely want to know that they are chasing something rare and valuable. I recommend that women should end the conversation first but not before a direct look into his eyes and perhaps a very sincere compliment. This leaves him wanting more. You can either end the conversation or excuse yourself for a bit. Like, “I’m just going to the ladies room. Are you going to be staying at this party for awhile?” This will give you a chance to digest the conversation, refresh, check in with your friends and then re-engage with him later. This also gives him an opportunity, if he has to leave, to come up and ask for your phone number. Smart, huh?! You can thank me later.
Many women ask me if it’s okay for a woman to approach a man. I’m certainly more of a traditionalist, however, I do believe there is a nice little window us ladies can work with – it’s called, ‘make it easier for him to approach you’. Monica Moore conducted a University study to see exactly what women were doing who were successful in approaching men. She observed more than 200 women at a party and recorded these “nonverbal solicitation signals”. The top moves that make a man come over and talk to you at a party are – some of them will make you laugh out loud (but it’s what Moore observed!):
Smile at him broadly
Throw him a short, darting glance
Look straight at him and flip your hair
Keep a fixed gaze on him
Look at him, toss your head, then look back
“Accidentally” brush up against him
Nod your head at him
Point to a chair and invite him to sit
Tilt your head and touch your exposed neck
Lick your lips during eye contact
Primp while keeping eye contact with him
Parade close to him with exaggerated hip movement
Ask for his help with something
And the final one that she observed but didn’t advise was “pat his buttocks”
So really, don’t hesitate to make the first “move” even if it is really, really subtle (not the buttocks one!). If you are feeling shy or feel you might be too forward, don’t worry about it because Moore’s study went on to discover that the male ego takes over in these situations. Ten minutes later he won’t even realize that he was not the one who made the initial move. She found that men think they are making the first move even though they are actually responding to a woman’s nonverbal cues. She cites an incident where a woman smiled at a man a total of four times in a restaurant and he eventually came over and approached her after he had visited the washroom. When she asked him about an hour later, he was convinced HE was the one who made the first move.
Let me know how it goes