I want you to take a moment and really think about this…Would you date yourself? Are you intelligent? Can you carry a great conversation? Are you a good listener? Are you healthy? Are you passionate? Do you have a positive outlook on life? Are you well-rounded? Are you interesting? Are you thoughtful? Do you have great character? Are you confident? Whether you are male or female, these are all traits we commonly look for in our potential partners. Do you possess them?
I interview dozens of singles every week in my practice and I often hear, “All the good ones are taken”, “It’s not my fault men are scared of commitment”, “Women only date men with money”, or some other form of a “poor me” attitude where the blame is pointed solely on those they choose to date or try to date. Here’s some blunt truth for you, YOU and you alone, are the reason why you are single. It’s not your prospective mates that are the problem, it’s you.
Now that we’ve addressed that, the good news is THIS is 100% in your control. Once you take responsibility for everyone you’ve ever been with, you can drop the “poor me” pity party and start to make some changes. The law of attraction is in effect whether you choose to acknowledge it or not. This negative mindset of yours is leading you further down the rabbit hole and attracting more of exactly what you don’t want.
If you think all the good ones are taken, guess what, they are! If you think men don’t want to commit, you are going to date men who don’t want to commit, and yes, if you think women only date men with money, then you are setting yourself up to fail. Remember, Lack cannot Attract! How do you flip the script? Date yourself!
If you won’t date you, why would anyone else want to?
It’s time to become the type man/woman that you would want to meet, date, and possibly marry. You need to pull up your socks and start embracing life. It’s time to really get to know you, and it’s time to expand.
What are you passionate about? What excites you? Make a personal pact with yourself to learn one new thing a week. Be curious about the world. Engage in conversation with the people around you. Trying new things and talking to people you wouldn’t generally talk to makes you a more balanced, interesting, and fun person. You’ll also open yourself up to meeting new, like-minded people and one of these people may be your future partner or be the one to introduce you to them.
Once a week, commit to taking yourself on a date. Here are some suggestions:
- Art Gallery
- Cooking Class
- Wine Tasting
- New Film
- Grand Openings
- Sporting events
- Charity Fundraisers
Get out into the World, and start enjoying your life. Many of us fall victim to becoming beings of routine. We come home from work, plunk ourselves down on the couch and turn on the TV. Would you want to date a couch potato? When we don’t get outside of our comfort zone we are really limiting our opportunities to relate to different people on many different levels. The more you do, the more you have to talk about, and the more you talk to other people and inquire about how they feel, the better listener you become. All stellar traits!!
The more activities you participate in, the better you will get to know yourself and the more interesting and confident you will become. You will understand clearly the type of person you wish to become. When you experience life you have so much more to contribute to conversations, making others gravitate towards you because they are intrigued.
If you’ve read previous articles of mine, then you are familiar with my mantra, “You attract who you are”. Take time every day to work on yourself and to achieve health. Good health means experiencing wellness throughout the mind, body and spirit. The body is well when exuding abundant energy and feeling strong. A healthy mind is one that experiences calm and peace, is constructive, sustains healthy relationships and remains motivated to seek purpose. An enlightened spirit is open, content, trusting, feels grateful, positive, and has faith and trust in the higher purpose.
When you are at your best, you will attract people on the same high vibrational path into your life. It’s when 2 people who are both “whole” come together, that a vibrant and healthy relationship is formed. By dating yourself, you will learn to love yourself, believe in yourself and to enjoy life to its fullest. By enjoying dating yourself, others will enjoy dating you too!! It all starts and ends with YOU!