Most of us know how awful it feels to be around toxic people. You know the kind that scream, yell, complain, say horrible things, and hurt you…but then apologize for their bad behavior. Yeah, we’ve all come across them.
Friends can be toxic, your partner can be toxic, employees can be toxic. Even family members who are suppose to be loving and supportive can be toxic at times.
Like many of you, I try to eat clean, workout, and take good care of my health. But to truly live a healthy lifestyle requires so much more.
Optimal health and wellness is dependent on physical, emotional, and mental well-being, which requires surrounding yourself with people who are supportive and positive. Toxic, negative people cause stress and as we know, stress causes a range of diseases from anxiety to digestive disorders and even heart disease.
Isn’t it amazing that the people who you associate with can affect your physical health and well-being?
So what defines a toxic relationship?
“If a person makes you feel bad about yourself, if they put you down and complain chronically, or if they hurt you and belittle you, chances are they are toxic! Keep a safe distance from people who make you feel bad when you’re around them!”
Whether you’re dating a toxic person or have toxic friends, you know the dreadful feeling that you have when you’re with them. In a split second they can turn your mood from happy to gloomy, from excited to discouraged, or from confident to insecure. And, rather than support you during difficult times, these individuals tend to kick you while you’re down.
Have you ever wondered why these people act and behave the way they do?
In many cases, they feel better about themselves by putting others down. They are typically very insecure and don’t like to see others happy. They are often narcissists and can’t empathize or feel the way normal human beings do.
It’s difficult to change the way they think and act, so you’re better off avoiding them as much as possible. The best solution is to completely remove them from your life, however, this is not always as easy as it sounds, particularly if the toxic people in your life are family members.
Some allow toxic people into their space even when intuitive red lights are signaling to keep them away.
If you are or know somebody who is a magnet for drama – always attracting toxic relationships and unable to avoid them, here’s my advice:
- Stop trying to figure them out.
- Stop apologizing.
- Stop making excuses for their wicked behavior.
- And stop allowing them to make you feel bad about yourself.
- Do not let them invade your life or treat you poorly.
When I ask my patients to follow these 5 basic principles, at first, they usually find it difficult. Since you can’t always cut people out of your life, sometimes you have to learn to live or work with them. If this is the case, try visualizing a white light around you when you’re around them. Recognize that it’s their stuff, not yours, and send yourself positive thoughts rather than getting caught up in their negative, toxic conversation. It’s totally okay to tune out and pretend you’re listening. I do it all the time.
Always limit your interactions and don’t waste your precious energy trying to fix them. Very rarely do toxic relationships turn around. If they are toxic in the beginning, they usually end badly.
As difficult as it may be to release them, you’ll feel so much better when you do. Remember, you can’t change the people around you, but you can surely change the people you choose to be around.