Okay, so maybe you want to find the love of your life and thinking about the benefits of being single isn’t part of your normal routine…but today I’ll point out some really good reasons that it can be great to celebrate being single during the holidays (or anytime):
1. You Can Marry Yourself First
Before you can marry someone else, it helps to marry yourself. This entails becoming your own best friend, learning to be true to yourself and committing to your life vision. It is useful to live alone a bit and become comfortable in your own skin. Use this time to do that before you spend the rest of your life with someone else.
2. You Can Establish the Life You Most Want
Instead of waiting for a guy to save you so that you can live, ‘Happily Ever After,‘ begin today. Don’t wait to take those dance lessons, travel or buy a house. Do it now so that you love your life. This way you will know the right mate when he loves and embraces your life too and he is willing to share his.
3. You Can Explore Your Options & Learn What You Like & Don’t
Just like college is an exploratory period for you to learn your career focus and talents before you pursue one path, dating is an opportunity to have adventures, explore different types of dates and learn what you like and don’t in a partner before you commit to just one person.
4. You Can Do What You Want & Appreciate Your Freedom
Often getting married and having children requires compromise. You will probably have less leisure time and will be making choices with the greater good of your family in mind. Few will be the days that you will travel on a whim, sleep in and have a pajama day or spend all day at a museum alone. So, carpe diem! Revel in doing what you want, anytime. Create a bucket list and do it now.
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5. You Won’t Settle Too Quickly or for the Wrong Reasons
When you like yourself, love your life and feel okay about being single then you’ll only choose a mate who will improve your life. This means you will avoid choosing someone because you are lonely, needy or in low self-esteem.
6. You Can Learn Your Unconscious Patterns & Work on Your Self-Development
Often people marry someone that reminds them of their opposite sex parent in some way or they recreate a relationship similar to their parental dynamic. It is helpful to do some work in psychotherapy to know those early patterns so you can choose a partner consciously and break old unhealthy patterns. To learn more about how to do this, get my first book, Dating From the Inside Out,’ published by Atria Books.
7. You Can Practice Commitment
Marriage is a lifetime commitment through the good and bad. This level of commitment can feel daunting and it involves trusting your word as much as trusting the other person’s promise. So, begin with you. How are you at keeping your word when things get challenging? Take inventory in your life and practice being committed to build this muscle over time.
I wish you a very happy holiday season full of merriment, fun, free-time and love!