Listen, I’m not the one to offer anyone advice. I’ve not even been to a handful of dates, and I’ve always been the one to call it off before anything even begins. Honestly, you’re better off reading some other article on love. In fact, you should read the other articles written by our staff, they’re actually pretty good. But if you are dumb enough to read this, then maybe you’re dumb enough to take away something. So let’s hope we do!
- Listen. Remembering that you don’t have all the answers to the questions and tons to learn from other people will help you listen and understand another.
- Don’t be a wise ass. Don’t start going off on a tangent to show off how smart you are or how crafty you are with your words. No one likes a braggart and no smart man ever needs to tell another how great he is. Instead, tell her how great she is, and in turn, she’ll just know how great you are.
- Don’t be a cocky b*$%#. No one likes cockiness, and despite what they say, women don’t like jerks. Don’t crack wise-ass comments and inconsiderate jokes, it’s demeaning.
- But Don’t be a boring Joe. It would be nice if you have an impeccable sense of humour, but for the most of us, we don’t. But the good news is that you don’t need to be funny or crack jokes to make her smile. Women find happiness and joy in being with good company, good energy, and good vibes. Being positive, attentive, and appreciative will get you more points than trying out jokes to make her laugh. Enjoy the moment and engage in the conversation, and respond with an open-mind and light-heartedness. And sometimes, all you need to do is to just respond with receptivity and let her move the conversation forward.
- Know how to say no. Of course, you will have things you see differently or disagree with. Bring up different points of view and challenge her, not only will you get to see her different sides, but she’ll appreciate it and understand that you have a mind of your own. Plus, it will make the conversation more genuine and interesting. Just don’t get caught up in it, do it for entertainment purposes only!
- Be commanding but don’t overstep. If you’ve got it, you’ve got it, if you don’t, no words will make you understand.
- Don’t get carried away and start swooning. Oddly enough, I am guilty of that. But hey, we’re not all perfect. When we see someone that is everything we were looking for, we can swoon and get lost in cloud 9. It can happen to the best of us. Try your best to keep yourself together, but if that doesn’t work, remember that you’re not perfect, and show yourself the most love and compassion. Also, try to remember that she’s not all that perfect either. There will be certain parts of her life that you won’t be pleased with and there may be aspects of her life that you might just have to understand. Remembering that none of us can be perfect helps you stay mindful and look at both of you with more compassion. Practice compassion and honesty with yourself and others and it will help you on these kinds of dates.
- Admit it and own it when and if you mess up. And apologize. The best way to move forward when you make a mistake — in fact, the only way — is to own up and apologize. And it’s hard, it’s terrifying, and it’s uncomfortable. But you know, it’s really sexy when a man can expose himself to vulnerability and allow the world to crash down on him, and hold his ground to learn his lesson. Humility and real strength are really sexy and it shows that you are a person who tries his best to grow every day. It takes courage, and as men, as hard as it is to admit that we are in the wrong, rather than fighting another fight, it takes real strength and courage to open ourselves up to our vulnerabilities.
- Be nice and courteous to everyone you meet including the waitress and the service staff. This should come naturally to you, and if not, it will come to you one way or another. But being nice and courteous not only looks good on you, but it also makes you feel good.
- Listen to her every word and ask her to repeat or clarify. You’ll always find something interesting or something to say. The secret to every engaging, interesting conversation is listening. You will never run out of things to say or ask meaningful questions. Just listen, everything you need is there.
- Remember, it’s not about the words you say or the things you do. It’s about the general direction you’re leading the conversation & the date. Stay present and lead the night so the both of you can have a positive, meaningful experience & take-away.
- Be Honest. If she’s not your type, and you can’t see it working out in any possible way, just let her down gently and be kind. It’s kind not to waste your time — yours or hers.
If you find any of it helpful, I sincerely hope you have a fabulous night with your date. If you have any suggestions for me, feel free to share them in the comments section below.